John & Bonnie, I know I have said this many times, but you will never know how much it means to  me (and for many others) for what you two did by welcoming Dex as part of your pink pant tournament and helping raise so much money in Dex's name.  I just wanted to say thanks one more time.  The pics at the hospital were great, for a spectacular man, and for a good cause.  THANKS AGAIN.

John and Bonnie - you did good and it is much much appreciated.

My main man, let me start out by saying I know you were smiling after the All Childrens Fund Raiser we had in your honor.  Elder and Bonnie did a great job for the entire event (props).  T or Carmella (not sure who - but think Carmellllllla - I rolled the L's) put together a great photo poster that was awesome to see.  My bad on getting a little teary talking about you bud, but I just couldn't shed the memories during my talk (I will try better next time).  We almost raised $13,000 (amazing when we were shooting for $2 - $4k (Just shows how amazing of a person you are).

On a lighter note, it is my girls bday today and one of her 1,000 gifts was a stuffed purple unicorn that is twice the size of my dog (Ziggy - named after the great Marley singer - which I know you would also appreciate ;-) - When I looked at this dinasour sized stuffed animal, I just laughed at how good kids have it in this world.  I know the kids you associated yourself with had this same smile because you were a part of their life and told them your dumb ass jokes (Ludacrissspss)!!

 

I miss talking to you daily my bro, save a seat up there for me (you might have to do some negotiating to do this).  One day we will smile together again, but until then take it slow and watch over your family. 

DexMex, I told you I would keep you up to date on the kids and their pics.  Blanne is leading the team in touchdowns and interceptions for his team (of course the Pitt Steelers).  Brooklin in two games of soccer has scored all of her goals for her team (13 goals) - gotta love it.  We are honoring your All Childrens Hospital, you and many of your memories this weekend.  I am sure your ears will be burning.  They are putting the worse two golfers together in a cart (me and David), yet I bet there will not be any two people that have more fun and tell more Dex stories.  Miss you bro.  Miss you a lot.

I guess because it is baseball season that the memory came to me.  One of my last trips to see DexMex he suprised me with tickets to a Rays game.  He purchased tickets for Jess, me, and himself.  I was extremely excited to go and let him know.  Yet, when I got bac to his house from working that day, he had also gone out and purchased me a RAYS jersey.  He said "You can not go to the game without a RAYS shirt".  The man would not allow me to pay for either the tickets or the shirt. 

 

He was just the type of man that truly enjoyed Giving more than Receiving and seeing the joy it brought to others.  A true friend that always cared how others felt and wanted to make them happy. 

 

Miss you bro.

from the first day you walked into mandalay bay I knew you were different and special. I will never forget your smile. your light your persistence and your caring nature. You gave me an outlook on things that I explained to you. Thanks for allowing me to be a small glimpse in your life. God only makes so many like you. I still have not heard what happened. i wish I knew. Its not what what you take when you leave this world behind you but what you leave behind when your gone. and you left love, memories and and an impressions so few could ever hope to leave. I dont understand but i hope one day we can take a walk together and I can tell you how much I appreciate your friendship and faith in me. thanks for seeing the good in me. I miss you dex. your an angel unique and amazing. I miss you doll.with love and so much respect for the man you were and the man you are. till we meet again. I will always remember. I look at your pictures and think wow he lived loved and had a full life. you will always be in my thoughts. i hope you hear my converstations.  

Dex introduced me to the movie Napolean Dynamite.  He had it rented (as he did many movies when I came to FL to visit him) for us to stay up, have a few brews and watch.  I have to say that the stupid humor was pretty funny in parts. 

 

Well, I was in the middle of an interview yesterday and I could not figure out who the man sitting across from me reminded me of.  Half way through the interview I laughed while the man was talking to me.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  I apologized but could not stop laughing silently in my mind.  The man sitting across from me looked like Napolean Dynamite's brother that was always on the computer.  I told this to one of my service workers after the man left and everyone thought the same thing.  They said they thought the brothers name was Kip.  I have now enclosed a pic of the guy in the movie and I swear this guy looked just like him.

 

For those of you that have seen the movie, that ole DexMex introduced me to, try to see yourself interviewing this guy after you figure out who he looks like.  For those of you that have not seen the movie, go get it (and realize it is stupid humor). 

Just wanted to send a pic of Blanne and his recent baseball tournament (they took 3rd).  I said I would keep you up with their pics, so the rest looking at this will just have to endure it.  We had a lot of fraternity brothers over this weekend and your name got brought up a few times (Destin golf trip, stupid humor and useless movie trivia - it always amazed me to hear you quote a line from a movie 20 years old).

Elder and Therese (and I am sure many others) are doing a great job on the get together (big thanks to them).

The main thing was I saw a man this weekend do his pinky and point finger and rub each against his eyebrows like you used to do.  I about lost it when I saw it.  The nerve of the man trying to pull off your one handed trick.  

Well DexMex, the golf trip with the boys was just not the same and I thought of you daily when we were out there.  You made me have to ride with Fox the first day (just not the same although he did help me look for my ball every hole).  You were toasted to nightly at dinner and thought of more.  We even talked about stupid tv shows and movies and all said "Dexter would know who that guy is". 

 

I have to also tell you a short story on the last day of golf.  We all teed off on hole # 18 with Big B (a.k.a Brett) hitting last.  There was a guy mowing the ladies T's that stopped when we approached the white T's.  Brett hit his T shot and it went about 10 feet.  We all told him to just re-T and hit another one.  He did so and it went about 15 ft this time.  Well, we all couldn't contain our laughter and the guy on the mower was also trying to be good about it.  Brett then hit his third shot and it went about 15 yards (right next to the guy mowing the ladies T).  Yep, Big B had to hit from the ladies T and by this time my ribs were hurting so bad from laughing that I started to feel bad (not really).  I know you would have been right there with me.

 

I had a picture of Brooklin in a dress from this morning on her way to school.  It was dress day at school and she is kind of a tomboy.  So, she had to wear her mardi gra beeds if she was going to wear her dress.  These were the beeds that I gave her from a trip that you, GJ and I took to New Orleans (another story for another time).

"THE 3 DUDES"

I have a bad habit of occasionally dipping, and periodically my man DexMex would take a dip.  Yes, Jess his dipped.  Yet, he pretty much quit for you (kinda).  Well as I was popping my can (for non dippers this gets all the dip to one end), the other day I just started to laugh out loud.  I remembered a story from the beginning of college that was humorous.

 

Dex, another friend and I were in my car getting ready to go somewhere.  I was driving and DexMex was in the back.  He would sit in the middle of the back seat and sit right between the 2 front seats, so he could talk to both of us.  He leaned in the entire time to be a little closer to his buds. 

 

I proceeded to take my can of Kodiak and pop it to get ready to take a dip.  Little did I know the top was not on all the way and the dip went everywhere.  Everywhere in the back that is.  I then heard the following from Dex.

 

1.  "DUDE" - the first Dude was actually o.k.  It was Dex laughing and the "Dude" had a different sound all together.  He realized I spilled all of my dip and was laughing at me for doing it.

 

2.  "DUDE" - The second "Dude" was not funny to him, because at this time he realized all the dip was on him and none on the other two of us.  It was more a "Dude" of panic and what the hell  just happened tone.  We (the 2 in the front) though could not stop laughing, because he was covered in dip.  All over his shirt and pants.

 

3.  "DUDE" - The third "Dude" was said as a "Dude" of man I can't believe this just happened to me as well as you 2 punks in the front stop laughing.  This third "Dude" was said over and over and over as he continued to get dip out of his clothes.

 

To any other friend it could have been a little more traumatic.  To DexMex, it was just another day and he was kind of glad his friends were laughing and having fun (even if it was at his expense).  That is just the kind of man he was, always caring about others. 

 

Miss you bro.  Miss you a lot.  You could always make me laugh, even whenyou are gone.  Watch over your family and keep them strong.  G

We are on Spring Break at the beach now.  The last day of work, I wore a grey Huge Brand Condoms T-shirt under my dress shirt to work.  I told Sean in an email that it made me feel like a kid and that I was getting away with something - like a school kid.  Well, we headed off to the beach and it started getting warm so I took my main dress shirt off and "not thinking" just had my shirt that read Huge Brand Condoms on with my rest of my outfit.  I did not realize why I was getting so many interesting looks on the way to Florida with my kids.  I guess they are wondering why a man would wear around a condom shirt with his kids.  I got some strange looks and finally realized I had it on when we were eating at KFC when a man said "That is an interesting shirt".  The whole journey of stares started to make a little more sense at this time.  Dex - it may have been a better idea to just put HUGE BRAND on this T-Shirt (and maybe the website underneath) instead of putting condoms underneath.  Some may have thought the condoms must have not have worked to well since I had 2 kids!!!!  Gotta say looking back it is pretty funny thinking of the looks I got while traveling with the kids to Florida.

I taught Dex to scuba dive and he taught me how to live every minute of my life to the fullest.  When I was going through a tough time he convinced me to move to Nashville, helped me start a new career and even introduced me to some of his good friends.  Our last conversation had to be just days before his passing when he was telling me about this really great business idea he had and how it would revolutionize the industry.  Dex was the king of revolutionary ideas and he taught me a LOT about running toward dreams.  To his family...  Know that Dexter was one of the biggest influences in my life.  Dex changed the course of my life and I can very honestly say I wouldn't be who I am without him.  Brian W (but Dexter always called me Shiggy)

DexMex - you would have been proud.  We finished our bball season undefeated.  My little man shooting the hoop was a sight to see.  We got home today and rough housed and Blanne jumped on my wrist and severe pain shot through it.  Brooklin - in the other room working on her picture book - came to my rescue ---- She brought me a picture of you me and Susan on the swing on the back deck of the Condo in Destin.  She said "I thought this would make you feel better".  Love that girl.  Amazing that this thought went through her mind.  You left an amazing touch on us all.

Eva is blowing you a Kiss Dex.  Know you are watching Cats today in Tampa.  Still learning from you. 

DexMex, I keep a few pictures of us by my computer upstairs to remind myself of all the fun you brought to my life.  It just is not the same not having you here.  One of the pics is of our trip to New Orleans with GJ when we stopped to take a picture of a sign that read "WoolMarket".  We thought we were the bomb (at least one of us was right)!!  I thought of how we got kicked out of the place that served Hurricanes and we actually didn't do anything wrong.  Thanks for all the laughs my man, I could never have asked for anyone better to share them with.  Love ya and miss ya. 

Forgot to mention that it was also baseball season and I was sending you a picture of Brooklin in her Mets jersey

Well DexMex it is that time of year when we get ready for our annual golf trip.  You and I always rode together the first day and I truly looked forward to all 18 holes.  I rarely talked and just soaked in story after story after story.  Whether they were about your mom and David, Sean, Your sister and the girls, Therese and Carm, or Jess I cherished every one.  The golf trip will never be the same without my best friend.  I will try to tell a DexMex joke that you always told when we were there.  Yet, no one can replace your useless movie trivia that made us all laugh and ponder how it was possible for you to know that.  You also always threw the beers to everyone when they were in the ocean.  We will have to nominate Fox for that task - still not the same - you always seemed to do some stupid dance or comment that made us all laugh.  While you are up there laughing at me hitting the golf ball into the water and the woods, help a brother out.

 

I miss you bro.  Miss the conversations, the laughs, but mainly just my best bud.

 

 

Dex, My Sweetest, EVER: I wear the St. Christopher charm you gave me EVERY day, (the perfect shade of my favorite color purple, of course) I feel protected when I have it on, and it reminds me of you; makes me feel your presence. I just can't believe how lucky I was to meet such a wondeful person, who truely cared about me, and would do ANYTHING for me. God really sent me a true gift, the gift of being with you. Thank you SSOO much, for believing in me, helping me, worrying about me, having a blast with me! (no matter what we did... we always made it fun!) I think about you and miss you at least 1,000 times a minute, every minute of every day. EVERYTHING makes me think of you! I can't even go to Ft. Desoto,  without getting teary eyed. Remember the first time we went? You were so sweet, you told me you packed a "small lunch" for us! of course, it was anything but small. You had sushi, subs, my favorite kind of apples... you always paid attention to small details like that, which meant so much. We even saved the seaturtles, with Terese and her family. I am sure Ethan will always remember that, you were such a wonderful role model. I still just dont understand. You did SO much for our community, and ANYONE you met. You still had so many places to go, so many people to meet, to help, so many plans, adventures... but I am sure they are WAY better up there! I can't wait until we meet again Dex, I truely feel incomplete without you in my life. I try to act like I am ok, but really, I am not. As well as anyone elses life you touched. I miss you. I miss your laughter, your spontanaity, (sp?) your cards, your love, your smile, your generosity, your constructive critisim, i just miss everything, i miss YOU. I miss being healthy, I haven't made a protein shake in 4 months! I haven't even been to the gym, or riding bikes. You showed me all the secret trails at Ft. Desoto, you even downloaded all of my songs on my IPOD so I could be all set up, to go running or bike riding with my IPOD. Weird thing is, I can't bring myself to listen to it, (not only bcuz I hardly know how to work it! :) but because everything reminds me of you. Even my freaking laundry basket! I was doing laundry the other day thinking how much I LOVE my laundry basket, because it has wheels& is just perfect. then of course I look like a loonatic, bawling in the middle of the laundry mat, because I remembered; you were so sweet to get me a good laundry basket, because my other cheap broken one hurt my hands, and you didnt want my hands getting hurt. you told me never to use that one again, and even tho it was my favorite, I haven't used it, because I made you that promise. I miss you Dex, and I just can't forgive myself for our "break." I would give anything to go back in time, I would have never taken that break. I know all cpls have problems, but when we talked about a break, I didnt' mean indefinetly. I dont think anyone understands how hard my heart hurts, not only now, but then as well.  I will never get over this, I can never forgive myself for this. I just keep hoping I will wake up and this was all a Terrible dream (nightmare, actually). I will NEVER meet anyone like you, (not that I want to) I am so glad God sent you to me, and I did get to have an incredible cpl of years with you. I am so lucky for that. I just can't help to be sad becaue I know that its over. But I will see you again, soon. Keep everyone laughing up there. Help keep Grant, Sean, Carmella, Terese, your MOM, David, your sister Shannon and the girls, (all ur other friends  & family) strong with the faith of knowing you are in a far better place now. I love you, and need you. You were always the one who was strong, who helped us through this sort of thing. Who would have ever thought we'd have to go through this without YOU. Even tho I don't understand it now, God has a plan. Somehow, someway, there is a reason for this. But we will never know until we meet him ourselves, and I am sure you will be right there, to hold our hands, and help explain everything. Until we meet again, Lovebug.

 ~Jessica. I love you TOO much

P.S. Thank you SO much for helping find the PERFECT car for me, it is has been so good to me, very reliable, and good on gas, everything you said it would be! :) Please let the random ppl I drive pass understand that I am talking to you, not myself, lol :) XoXo~ your babygirl always & forever

Dex, how much I have thought of you  is un-measurable, Still  so shocking. I ask why all the time. Why you? Why now? Why so soon? just Why? I just wish there had been more time. So crazy how you never know from one day to the next if you can lose someone that means the world to you. I just want you to know you will never be forgotten and you will always be remembered. Miss you so much what I wouldnt do for one more phone call. love you doll.. love ya forever til we meet again, love kaeleen

We recently went through some pics and this reminded me of our camp out (Dex and many other fraternity brothers and wifes/dates)  in the mountains (one of my rare ones).  Susan was getting crazy with a sparkler and the kids were loving it.  It just reminded me of when we all went white water rafting and then camped out and had the park ranger come at 2 in the morning and tell us other campers were complaining.  I guess they did not like us shooting bottle rockets at the other peoples tents, pouring candle wax on other peoples hands when they were not looking  (I think BC's), and setting off all types of other fire works all around the woods (not real smart on our part).  Great time with a great bud. 

I miss you so much and there is not a day that goes by that I don\'t think of you.  Ethan is starting to ask about you and remembers you (he has an incredible memory).   I\'m training hard to ensure I make it to the top of Rainier.  Since we didn\'t get to write our names in the summit log on the last trip due to the time crunch, I promise not leave the summit until I cross the crater and write our names in the log.  I wish you could physically go with me on the trip, but I know you\'ll be there.  Ethan wants to go on the climb also, but he\'s still too young (turning 4 on Sunday) and there is no one else other than you that I trust to go up there with us.  Thanks for putting it all in perspective and for making me a better person. 

Buddy, I told you I would do better of letting you know how the kids were and keep you up to date on my last trip and I am doing my best to keep that promise.  I am amazed at how you touched my son in so short of time.  We cheered for your Philly Eagles to make it to the super bowl (Blanne thought that was pretty cool), but they fell short.  I am trying to get Brooklin into Reggae instead of some of the R & B she likes because momma does not like some of the words or way they talk (sing).  She seems to like all music (except some of that head banging - make your ears bleed stuff you listened to).  I hope this pic comes out of Brooklin, I had a hard time with it. 

I think back to High school and where you and I first met and wonder how we became so close.  We just had so many things in common and you were always there for me.  Not sure I ever said thanks for that, so "Thanks".  Miss you so much.  Watch over your mom, Shannnon, the kids and David.

Well I told you I would send pictures when I saw you in Sept.  I am a man of my word.  I was going through this one and although it was old, I thought it was perfect for new years eve.  It put a smile on my face as you did on many new years.  As you can see we have no rules on the back deck of our house.  I am sure the neighbors love us for it, but I could give a flip. 

I hope you are checking in to read all these good things said about you from Reenie, David, Shannon,  Jess, T, Carmella, kaeleen, Sean, etc.  Many good stories of you bro.  Just wish I was still coming down for you to catch me up on all of these from them.  I did not know that many people actually liked you.  Just kidding.  Now that the man above took you to help out, I have no one to really kid around with on a daily basis.  I would do it with Susan, but she may think I was serious and I would get a shoe upside my head.

 

I miss my best friend and wonder daily why it happened.  I am real glad that Susan made the journey with me in Sept.  She and I still talk about how lucky we were to come then.  Happy new year bro.  Love ya and I always have.

 

Dex,my Sweetest~ I just got off of work and once again, wishing you were here with me. I miss you so much, ur silly jokes cheering me up.. ur great advice..ur love & companionship. The calendar you made me is almost over, I wish so badly that you could make me another. I will cherrish this one forever. Remember how CRAZY it was that we were both secretly making eachother personalized calendars, to suprise eacother?! ( I still say you snuck & saw that I was, & copied me!;) Just teasing. For someone to take so much time & consideration for me, means so much. You are one of a kind and I am so glad and honored to have known you. Yesterday was our anniversary, and I could only imagine what you would have had planned up your sleeve. Mom cooked dinner for us, in your memory.(She tried to remember what u taught her, but we all know is wasn't even comparable!) It was so sweet of her, she misses you. I love and miss you more than I can express in words. You're the best. Heaven is lucky. XOXOXO~ your baby girl

Just remembering  this time last year, trying to figure out what we were going to get each other and thinking how much you would be surprised at what one of your gifts were.  You so loved Christmas and didn't really care what you got.  You invited Matt over and we went to the Italian grocery store and bought great steaks.  You made the best marinade I ever had.  You did baked sweet potatoes, and a salad to die for.  I made a homemade cheesecake. I kept saying this was not what we should be having for a Christmas dinner and I just knew inside I was not going to like it because it was not the traditional dinner.  Well needless to say you were right again and I was wrong.  I told you so and then said I would have to get the recipe for that marinade and salad dressing.  Of course I didn't and have no idea of what you even put in it.  How I miss you Dexter and your excitment and joy over things small or large.  I just pray that you knew just how much you meant to me because I know that I was hard at times but my love NEVER was.  You were the world to me and I've always said even before you died that my purpose of this earth was to be your mother and I knew that the moment you were born.   I love you Dexter

Well Dex, my son keeps amazing me with thoughts on you.  I did not realized and am impressed how you touched my son (my stories probably help you out though;-) ).  We put up the Christmas tree this past weekend.  He came across a picture of yours, while running around the house (he was slacking in his help role).  He asked me if we could put the picture of you on the Christmas tree.  This would help us remember "Uncle Dex" each year. So, your ugly mug is on my tree and will be every year ;-).  I know you gotta be smilin.  We also put an Angel ornament on one side of the picture (Blanne calls you our guardian Angel - lord knows he needs one).  We put a UK Wildcat with a basketball ornament on the other side of you.  Merry Christmas a little early, buddy.  Miss you daily and so much wish you were still with all of us.