Dexter Gabbard

Been a while since I have been to this page, and wanted to just tell my brother he is still missed.  I looked through all the pictures and see not only the fun that Dex had, but the fun others had just being with him.  I talked to him almost every day and he ALWAYS put that smile on my face before I got off the phone and always made me laugh.  Miss you my brother and so wish you were still with us.  So many stories I have shared with my family that involve you that when I tell it I realize how lucky I was to have you in my life.  Thanks to your mom and David for being there when Dex needed it, always supporting him and guiding him.  

I miss you my brother.  Love ya!!  Been a while since I posted a pic for you of the family.   We all miss you!

How can this be?  I still shake my head
at times when I realize this is NOT a dream!!
I have lost MANY people in my life   Parents, sisters,
brothers, nieces, nephew, cousin, friends, coworkers but
I still can’t believe that I lost you!!  Never 
in my life did I think that

DG,
Was going through some old emails that I saved and the one with your memorial link was there, waiting to be re-opened.
I'm still emotional when reading about you, your life and looking at the old photos from your days at UK and SN.
By now you have probably heard about Arnold Palmer and Jose Fernandez, who left us yesterday.  Man, now you can get some putting lessons from "the king".
Miss you pal, and even though I didn't see you much after our days at UK, I still think about you often, along with sandwhich, schlagle, and asher
Hope all you guys are golfin, laughin, relaxin...everyday
Sure we will reunite some day
Later Bro
LW GI# 1529

Said I would post some pics of my B & B for Dex and have been slacking.  We went to the Renaissance Festival with the family and know that Dex would have loved it.  All outdoors - Camel ride / Jousting of Knights / Axe Throwing / Turkey Legs - wish he could have experienced it.  This is Lil B with her face painted!!!

Ok, This just came to me.... not sure why.  Being DexMex BDay probably brought up this stupid funny movie.  One of the quotes that Dex would mention on our golf trip (a lot) was from a movie called Dumb and Dumber.  The quote was "Hey, you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? The other guy said what?   Then the one guy screams loud and long!!.  As many times as I heard that, I always laughed.  Part of the laugh was just that we got to spend time together and nothing else really mattered at that time.  Dex... you had the ability to take all stress and worries away, man do I wish you were here now to do that!!  Miss you my brother...

P.S.  I think Queen Therese has some of the most annoying - High Maintenance - sounds.... Wait... ... Just kiddin T.  Not really!!  Yes - I am.  Nope.

How can one person touch so many people with such minimal effort that it was unlikely he even knew? I went to high school with Dexter and unfortunately hadn't seen him since then but regardless, I considered him my friend. Who didn't though, right? I still remember the classes we had together.  When I read of his passing, it felt as if something of grand importance had been taken, not only from me, but from humanity. This was a feeling that I wondered about for such a long time. How can the passing of a friend I hadn't seen in years have such a profound affect on me? Well, it's simple really. It was Dexter. If you knew him, you understand. If you knew this man, you know the loss felt by anyone who had the honor of having him in their life and can only imagine the loss of those to whom he was close.

As I read these messages, one statement has stuck and that sentence essentially sums up how I remember Dex.

"He made everyone feel important."

 If a greater compliment has been paid to anyone by anyone, tell me what it was. I can only hope such a great thing can be said of me someday.

Well we finally made it to Tropicana Field in St Petersburg this past Saturday.  Watched the Rays play the Yankees.  I knew you were a Yankee fan and I knew you liked the Rays so I did not know which team to cheer for.  I went and found the seat that you sat in to a
watch the game the day you died.  I thought of you the whole time.  Looking around thinking you saw the same things I am seeing now.  Thinking how excited you were to go to the games and it was the first time the Rays had one the game to go on to win the division   I decided they were good enough to get you there that I would root for the Rays.  They did end up winning 3-2 but honestly it didn't matter but the fact that A Rod was playing and I really kind of wanted the Yankees to lose.  But the most amazing thing as we were leaving the stadium and are outside walking to our car I was looking at the signs and did not pay attention to the road and there was a curb that I did not see and went flying.  The place was packed and here I go right down in front of everyone!!!.  Hurt my hands, arm, and mostly my leg all on the right side.   Besides being embarresed all I could think of is that I feel after watching a Rays game and hurt the right side just like you did that night.....  wow was that on my mind as I went down.  I had help and quickly got up and proceeded to go to the car and was fine.  I had tears in my eyes and David thought I was hurt worst than what I was but I really was thinking of you and that is why I was crying.  I just wished your outcome could have been like mine.  Love you Dexter and if I cheered for the wrong team  I also am sorry. Kept looking the seat you had that day and kept trying to picture you there.  I know you took some pics and sent one to Grant letting him know you made to the game and sent him a pic of the Tropicana Field.  So I took and pic of it to just like you did and here it is.  I made it!!!

Had to go to the storage room that we rent. It holds most of your personal belongings.  Anyway we had to put something in there and it was the first time that we have opened it in a few years.  Upon opening the door I immediately had flashes of memories.  I saw so much of your stuff and so many boxes that have to be looked through.  But looking over everything all I could see is you and still trying to figure this whole thing out.  Almost five years that you have been gone and I still don't know why this ever happened.  I know that we have got to go through that storage room and either donate it or something.  All your clothes, shoes, etc just being wasted when someone could be using them.  And knowing you that would have made you mad.  I saw your helmets, your christmas decorations, wheelbarrel, camping stuff, hiking stuff just all kinds of things.  Dexter I love you so much and when I look at your belongings I want you to be here not the stuff. Well I ended up bringing one box home so I can go through that and maybe this will be the beginning of cleaning out the storage place.  It will probably take a long time though but then again that is all I have left.

The boys golf trip is coming up in May and every year you and i would ride together the first day of golf!!!  You always brought me the damn Vodka / OJ drink at 7:30 am and said - "For my Brother".  It took me the whole damn day to drink that thing.  Yet, it did not slow down our other brews.  I got to sit for 4 hours (Sometimes 5 if i was really playing bad) and just listen to my main man talk.  I would say at times Dude - shut up (jokingly of course).  One of the great things I miss is just saying whatever we wanted to each other and knowing that each of us loved the other like a true brother.

I heard great stories of the stooges (Carmella and Therese) and how one was high maintenance and how the other was more down to earth ---- maybe i just added the last part --- maybe not!!! How Dex and his mom and David would have good times together and how he enjoyed coming to see them on the weekends (most of the times Reenie :-)).  I got to hear stories like how he swiped a credit card down someone's crack at a naked bar - that story was hilarious.  How he was dating a younger woman and the joys and the troubles and asking me what he should do...... My advice was rarely listened to, because we had a difference of opinion on these types of things!!  I got to hear stories of him and Elder in Tampa and how much fun they had together and how Elder was always there for him (great man in deed). 

We all miss you my brother.  I still find myself needing / wanting to call you and swap stories ... ask questions... advice... love.  You were a true friend and I wish I would have known how much of one you were when you were here.  I would have tried to share it a bit more.  The first day of golf will never be the same.  I miss you DexMex.... thanks for always being there when i needed you.... I only hope I offered the same for you.

P.S.  Carmella and Theres(a) are worse than I am at golf!!!

Fox, Tbone and I had business in Memphis the other day and Shared some Sigma Nu stories of Fox and Dex living together and me coming by to see Fox and Dex skipping class and the 3 of them playing "Blades of Steel" - video game.  Fox would be in his underwear just waking up at 11 am while Dex was putting in his 3rd layer of hair gel, ironing his clothes to get ready to look good for Somebody.  What a contrast in roomates (as he and I were).  The man could get a long with anyone.

Also, Brett and I talked about how Dex (as I have said before) reminds us of "The Rock".  We talked about the one where he was a football player and found out he had a daughter.  One of those "You had to be there moments".  But Brett and I went on and on in how Dex would have played that character well - especially the part where he talks about "I'm allergic to Cinnamon (sp)", when his daughter made him cookies that had it in it.  We tried to show how we thought Dex would do it..... This was after a few beers, so it was really funny at the time. 

Miss you my brother and know that we are still sharing laughs we wish you were with us on!!

Well, I give up.  I tried to add the picture of Blanne twice now and it is not attaching.  So imagine a Blonde good looking kid (takes after his dad) running across the goal line.  For all those that get an alert to your phone every time someone puts something on the website...... That's funny that you keep looking here!!!

I always told DexMex to cheer for a different team than the Yankess, that they bought their World Series Rings.  Yet, the boy liked the Yankees and there was no changing his mind.  I was greatful and honored to get his old NY Yankee hat and i wear it whenever i want to be close to Dex.  I took it to the beach when My fanily and I had Thanksgiving in Destin this year.  Brett and I took a walk on the beach (I was wearing the hat) and as always someone says "How Bout those Yankees" or "Great to see a Yankee fan so far south".  I know Dex gets a kick out of people commenting on the Yankees, which i know little about (I am a National League follower not AL).  He really gets a kick out of it when they ask me questions about the Yankees and I tell them it was my best friends hat and i am wearing it.  They look at me like "what the heck". 

It is an honor to get to go through it every time and i feel priveledged to get asked these questions to make us both laugh at life.  Miss you bro and many times I wish you were here to call and talk my daily talk with. 

I said i would send you pics periodically and this is lil man running for one of his many TD's.  He lead the team in TD's, thrown TD's, interceptions, and kick off recoveries!!!

Fantasy football is approaching and I just thought i would remind you of something!!!!.  Your team name was "Rasta Dragons" for football every year.  Well last year, you will remember.... I looked up toward the skies and told you I would change my football name "Smokin Snakes" to "Rasta Dragons" if you put me in the top 3 teams!!!!!   I finished 2nd to last.  I think Fox sucked worse than I.  I guess you thought that was funny for me to be so bad.

Well, i am making my offer public this time.  I am going to take on the name of "Rasta Dragons" again and i expect a lil more help up there, than what you gave me last time.  I told everyone last year that you and i were sharing a team.  WE DID NOT DO WELL.

Miss you my brother.  The fantasy draft is not the same without you continuously holding everyone up with your weak picks :-).

To my brother... "Don't Worry About A Thing, Cause Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be All Right".  30 years ago today Mr. Bob Marley went to heaven.  Dex and I spent MANY a days listening to Bob Marley.  Pretty much every day when we lived together, one of us got home from work and put on some Bob to listen to.  It just took all your worries away and relaxed you.

For those that are not Bob fans.  Get "LEGEND" cd.  Over 10 million copies sold.  Best song we listened to ....
 
1.  Three Little Birds - reminds me of DexMex
2.  Don't Worry about a thing - Dex song 
3.  Waiting in Vain - my favorite

Miss you my brother.  We had the golf trip last week and brett and i had the golfers delight that you used to buy the first day of playing golf.  Brett, Todd, Fox and I all looked towards the heavens and toasted.  You were deeply missed my friend. 

Well, i made myself laugh twice today my brother.  All in your memory.  I was cleaning today, ok so there's your laugh my man, and saw a picture of DexMex with a feather think (i think they call it a boa) wrapped around his neck with big sunglasses on him.  We were on our way to a Jimmy Buffet concert and he was getting in "Buffet" mode.  Hilarious!!!  
The second was just thinking of me cleaning and always coming into our apartment and seeing your room so clean and my room with clothes everywhere and stuff all over the furniture and the floor.  Two opposite sides of thinking with so much in common.
I miss you my brother.  Thanks for all the smiles may you be looking at a beautiful sunset!!

Every night I tell Blanne (or Brooklin) a story before going to bed (usually a "Prince Blanne & GMan story of wizardry!!).  Yet, last night I was out of creativity and told Blanne I wanted to tell him an Uncle Dex story.  Not yet knowing what I was going to talk about, I knew I had plenty of these to share. 

The first story that came to mind was "Grub King".  I tell Blanne that in college each fraternity (had to try to explain what a fraternity was) picked a person from their fraternity to collect money for charity in a grub king jar.  I told Blanne that we picked DexMex.  He asked why we picked Dex.  Not really knowing an answer at the time, I then realized why he was picked.

After thinking of my answer, tears started to form in my eyes on the reality of why we did.  I told him that we wanted a person to do this that cared about raising money for a good charity.  We wanted a person that would have fun with the whole thing - I then proceeded to tell him that each young man from each fraternit had to take a picture of themselves and put it on the jar that money would be put into.  Each young man (with the exception of Dexter) had a picture that made them still look good in the eyes of all the young women.  That they may have put a little dirt on their shirt or pointed to a whole in their hat or something dumb.  Yet, DexMex (as I started laughing remembering the picture he took) had a picture taken of him that showed the crack of his ass, had his hat on side ways, head turned around with a finger in his nose.  I told him that Dex realized this was funny and didn't do it to try to "look good" for the girls but rather to raise money for a good cause.

I told Blanne, that many times if you do what is right, you win in the end and Uncle Dex was a winner.  He won the contest, raised the most money, had the girls thinking he was funny and showed many that life should not be taken so seriously.

I told Blanne that the reason he was chosen was because he was a leader that did the right thing for the right cause and didn't care what people thought about him if it generated good things for needed people.

By the end of the story I was in tears and my great son said, "You miss him a lot don't you dad"?  I told him that he would have many friends throughout his life and as he got older he would realize who was a true friend and who he would be the closest to, to cherish all the times he had with the one(s) that he was the closest to, and that one day I hope he didn't feel like he has lost the closest one to him.  Yes, my son.... I miss him more than I could ever tell you.  He was a great man!!

Just thougth the last hole we played at the charity event was pretty cool.  I was playing like shit (what's new) and on the last hole I had a 30 foot putt.  Since Dex had helped David on the shot's throughout the day that David had asked for help with (that was amazing in itself to watch), I thought I would ask my main man Dex for some assistance.  I looked my bloodshot eyes to the clouds above and asked Dex "Dex, I have been playing poorly all day and I would love for you to help a brother out and allow this putt to go in".  I hit the ball and my brother in heaven gave me a BIG smile by allowing the 30 foot put to go in the hole.  I just thought that was amazing.  Me hitting a 30 foot putt.  Hell, I have trouble with a 3 foot putt.

Well, that's not all of the story.  As I walked by Brad Fox with my ear to ear grin, I told him what I just did.  "Fox, you are not going to believe this.  I said to myself, while looking to the sky, Dex help me make this last putt".  Fox - who was puttng for Birdie from about 11 feet out - said "I'm going to do the same thing".  Fox looked towards the clouds then down at his ball and hit the ball.  Straight in the cup for him to end with a Birdie".

Thanks, my brother, for allowing us to have a good time with friends (BC was there this year), family, and new associates. 

I had a great time playing with your Dad, David and John and Bonnie put on a great hosting (as usual).

Every year at this time I think of how special you were as a GREAT friend.  I miss you my brother and wanted to touch base with you on your bday to say have a good one up there.  John has once again put together a great pink pant extravaganza with you being the special one to honor.  I know I usually am late in wishing you a happy birthday (as you were) and you would give me shit over it (never thought I would miss that), but I just kept thinking about it all morning and wanted to start typing something to just say hello on your bday.

Tears come to me often trying to actually realize that we will not see or talk for some time.  I told your "Ludicrisps" joke to someone the other day and they looked at me as if I was crazy.  I just started busting out laughing knowing that the people you told that dumbass joke to, gave you the same look as I got.  Even after I explained it they looked at me like I was not all there. 

I know many of the children miss your stories like that which made them smile, your attention to a stranger was always mesmerizing - to see that you truly cared about someone you just met and wanted to take care of them in some form or fashion.  I pray often at church for this type of mentality (I don't think he is listening to me though because I stay bullheaded .... at least that is what my wife tells me).

I miss making each other laugh my brother.  I hope you are making all the angels laugh in heaven. 

Two things: 

1).  Last night I was watching a show called "Psych" and it was pretty funny.  It made me think of my boy Dex am me when I saw the two of them giving "Knuck bumps", joking with each other, laughing, sticking up for one another, and just plain enjoying each others company.  Many of the things they did during the show (especially the after the show bloopers) reminded me of things that Dex and I did.  Laughed and cried in the same show.

2).  This morning I am working out of the house and Brooklin brings me a picture to my desk and I just started laughing out loud.  It was of when we had 3 couples in Gatlinburg TN (our new years eve trip up in the mountains) and Dexter wanted to get the couples to take an old time type picture of people dressed up in costumes of the past.  Dex wanted for all the guys to dress up in dresses and the wifes to dress up as the men.  Needless to say Fox and I didn't want anything to do with dressing up in dresses.  Yet, it didn't change DexMex's mind. 

You always made me laugh my brother and that is deeply missed.  Enjoy looking back at the picture attached

We just got back from the golf trip with the boys and you were well missed.  Many laughs with good friends but one of the best was missed by all.  Wish you were there my brother.  T got a kick out of me hitting one over a condo and then tried to get me to hit it back over the condo to get back in the fairway.  Needless to say, I had not had that many beers yet. 

I included a pic, as I said I would keep you updated, I just hope you peek in every now and then to take a look at all the good things said about you.  

I still think of the last time we were together.  The man above gave me many great memories from that trip to FL. and the time we spent in your back yard with wine and good stories is thought of often.

I miss our daily conversations and laughter you brought.  Wish I had you back to share some love. 

Just thinking of my main man.  We go on the annual golf trip next Sunday and all the guys are already saying how DexMex will be missed.  I still have not gotten use to having to ride with anyone but you on the first day of golf (you used to get the golfers delight and tell me what a delight it was for you - the golfer).  You will truly be missed on this trip and I am sure the Fox/Dex conversation will once again be laughed at.  Oh, how a simple mind is easily entertained.

 

I miss you my brother (your laugh, smile, conversation, and most of all great company).

 

Family at the Ren Festival

Not so much a memory, but a dedication.  My son was asked by his teacher to send in a recipe of his favorite dish that we make.  I first read this and started laughing because we cook NOTHING.  I thought it was sent to my wife, Susan, and I waited to see her response because I thought I would get a kick out of seeing Peanut Butter and Jelly recipe. 

 

I was a copy cat of a Sandwich DexMex made for me and my brother one time that had a lot of meat, oil and vinegar, spices, etc and have made it for my kids many times.  This is what Blanne said he wanted to send in to his school.  We called it "Gabbard Sandwich" in honor of my boy Dex.  We also sent 2 other recipes that MiMi (my mom) sent us (because she knew we did not cook) and tried to come to the rescue. 

 

I just got a giggle out of it and thought some might as well. 

 

Miss you bro and wish I could share many stories like this with my best bud.

 

Another pic (that I promised I would share with my DexMex) of the kids and buddies eating icecream at the beach

I thought this went through on Easter, but I guess somehow it did not.  We thought about you on Easter and the Burrow's were on the beach.  Susan and I paid tribute to you by her wearing her HUGE visor and black shirt (No, not the one that says a little bigger a little blacker), and me with my HUGE hat with the zipper on the side (yet, I used your zipper for a money pouch instead of its meant for purpose).  Susan Smith (now Susan Walker - one of the twins from high school) was there with her family and she and I talked about you and what a friendship should be like. 

 

I looked at the condo that the guys are going to stay at during the golf trip in June and pictured you, me and the fellas just hanging on the deck after a round of golf with a G & T shooting the bull.  In writing this, I can also see you running in from the water to the cooler and throwing Bearman, Brett, T, Fox and myself brews and making us find them in the ocean.  You are truly missed on the golf trip and many stories will be told once again in your memory. 

 

Miss you bro.  Pic of the kids at the beach being buried.